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Where Do We Go From Here?
So, this is the point at which I need to do some thinking about what I'm doing with my life. Backstory: In part because I wanted to see what would happen, in part because I was hoping for some validation of the "I'm still intelligent and desirable to employers." variety, and in part because I'm neurotic, and can't stand not having a plan for the next few years, I sent in some job applications. I am now contemplating some interviews, not (as I told myself) over the Winter Break, but now -as in, next week. If I want to do well, and I want the job, I'm going to have to do some serious preparation - case practice, wardrobe, logistics, etc. As it is, though, I don't know if that's what I want. I think it's a job I *could* do, and do well. But, I also worry that doing work of a "corporate" nature like this will send me back down the road to the person I was when I worked in law - sarcastic, angry, and fundamentally unhappy.
As far as the general life plan goes, I know that I *am* interested in being an academic, but I'm worry that I'm not ready for it yet, and that I don't have the intellectual "chops" to do a good job, or at least, the kind of job I'd like to do. I've been enjoying my coursework for the BCL, but I do sometimes feel out of my depth in the discussions heavy on theory and philosophy - over the years, I've become a "practical" facts and knowledge type of thinker, and believe this is sometimes frowned on by the Professors. I have a great interdisciplinary breadth of knowledge, but I feel my discourse is lacking in erudition. Point of fact, doing a long thesis scares the hell out of me.
Getting a corporate job for a few more years would allow me to build up my savings (which are being depleted by the current round of study) and get in a better financial position for a Doctorate, if that is indeed the plan. Of course, it also means I might be well past thirty by the time I make a start. I don't really mind the idea of this, as I've always rather contemplated a life that moved between work, study (and now maybe religion) throughout. But, I wonder if there's something wrong with the idea of going into a job with the thought that I want to do it for a few years, before going back to study (again!). I don't think so, yet it may mean that I lack the fundamental mental commitment necessary to be truly successful at a career.
Anyway, those are the deep thoughts. Otherwise, I'm keeping up on lectures and seminars, and more-or-less on reading. I'm doing reasonably well in the online Real Estate Finance course, despite having to complete my midterm in a rush when a few no-shows turned my extra invigilation shift into a 6-hour all nighter. (On the plus side, more money! Yay!) And, with the escapism - Matrix Revolutions was decent entertainment,and a reasonable ending to the trilogy, although it failed to deliver on the promise of the original. (I still love Agent Smith, though.) I also got to see a great assortment of trailers on the big screen, which has sparked anticipation for upcoming films, including Master and Commander (which looks deeply slashy) and Return of the King (which looks absolutely stunning). Oh, and comics aplenty this week! Life goes on.
As far as the general life plan goes, I know that I *am* interested in being an academic, but I'm worry that I'm not ready for it yet, and that I don't have the intellectual "chops" to do a good job, or at least, the kind of job I'd like to do. I've been enjoying my coursework for the BCL, but I do sometimes feel out of my depth in the discussions heavy on theory and philosophy - over the years, I've become a "practical" facts and knowledge type of thinker, and believe this is sometimes frowned on by the Professors. I have a great interdisciplinary breadth of knowledge, but I feel my discourse is lacking in erudition. Point of fact, doing a long thesis scares the hell out of me.
Getting a corporate job for a few more years would allow me to build up my savings (which are being depleted by the current round of study) and get in a better financial position for a Doctorate, if that is indeed the plan. Of course, it also means I might be well past thirty by the time I make a start. I don't really mind the idea of this, as I've always rather contemplated a life that moved between work, study (and now maybe religion) throughout. But, I wonder if there's something wrong with the idea of going into a job with the thought that I want to do it for a few years, before going back to study (again!). I don't think so, yet it may mean that I lack the fundamental mental commitment necessary to be truly successful at a career.
Anyway, those are the deep thoughts. Otherwise, I'm keeping up on lectures and seminars, and more-or-less on reading. I'm doing reasonably well in the online Real Estate Finance course, despite having to complete my midterm in a rush when a few no-shows turned my extra invigilation shift into a 6-hour all nighter. (On the plus side, more money! Yay!) And, with the escapism - Matrix Revolutions was decent entertainment,and a reasonable ending to the trilogy, although it failed to deliver on the promise of the original. (I still love Agent Smith, though.) I also got to see a great assortment of trailers on the big screen, which has sparked anticipation for upcoming films, including Master and Commander (which looks deeply slashy) and Return of the King (which looks absolutely stunning). Oh, and comics aplenty this week! Life goes on.